Just a Snap shot

Many people have asked us what a day in the life of "us" looks like...here is a snap shot of today in the life of Freddy & I...

Freddy, my husband, for those just starting to follow  ..well, he planned out this most wonderful date today! There is something about a day date that is just magical. He had the whole day planned out! A whole day..just the two of us! my heart is happy. We left our place early in the morning and we drove off in our volvo wagon, just the two of us...did I mention that already?!

My heart had been distracted leading up to this date just because we have such a busy busy weekend ahead of us and our boys were going to be with 4 different sitters in the next 3 days... ughhh I hate to have to mess up them like that! Ha! Like this could mess them up.. no it messes up my routine dang it! I have learned in the last 4 months or so that I am willing to give freely and live life without holding on tightly, as long as it is convenient... there is nothing convenient in serving...the Father is renewing my heart and mind constantly with this (side note)

So back to the most wonderful date...

As I was getting ready this morning I was re-gospeling my heart...that this is a gift and it could easily be missed today if my heart plays this tug-o-war with this whole holding onto our schedule so tightly...thank you Father for grace that pours so freely...

We pulled away and Freddy took me to this brew bar & espresso lab in STL called Sump. We open the door and creativity pours out of this place...the owner, Scott, a tatted, bald bearded man,who seems a bit out of place but then he doesn't, if that makes sense. He gives us a slight look up and he says hey. We walk up to this screen and checkout the limited menu of straight coffee.

Freddy, naturally, engages in conversation 15 minutes later we have learned much about each coffee & the origins & the aromas & the tastes it leaves on your pallet..Scott is a coffee connoisseur This man breathed the very essence of coffee...I became more passionate about coffee because he is passionate about it. Funny how that works.

Freddy and I sat right in front of the "lab" we watched Scott put together this perfect cup of coffee. So cool.  Freddy and I sat together for a couple hours,  taking in the entire experience with every sense. We talked about the journey thus far in Planting Ekklesia. How we are both experiencing freedom yet  in a season of loneliness. We are raw and desperate for the Father..Sitting across from the man I deeply love & having him re-gospel me and being able to do the same thing...So many times we look to others for a bit of life ..yet today the Holy Spirit reminded us that He is Life, nothing, no one can ever bring life to us.. (deep breath)...Our hearts rest in Truth of the gospel.

After this beautiful conversation we left Sump and then went to this place called Cafe Ventana.  Freddy has had meetings there lately and knew I would so enjoy this place and I totally did! Everything about it. From the fabulous food to the hard wood floors, the flowers, to the old brick and wall paper. This place screams "Chele" Totally recommend this place especially to the ladies and to the gentlemen who can enjoy themselves outside a sports bar.

Today was filled with new adventures. New people. Wonderful conversation. Smiles.Tears. Laughter & Rested hearts.

I love the lyrics "if grace was an ocean we're all sinking" I looked across the table many times today at my husband and continued to get a glimpse of God's grace and ferocious love for me. 

  Its all a gift.

A happy spring morning to you all! So.. My heart has been stirring with many things and this is to be one of them.. after talking with my sweet friend Paige... Here I am back..writing.. As my journey continues as a Christ follower, a wife of a church planter, a mama of 2 sweet lil gents... This is continuation of me documenting a journey of beautiful chaos, as I like to call it. So our journey continues...with much grace... More to follow.

3 days. My conversation with Scout.

Our lil'st gent, Scout, has been asking many questions of death and dying these past few weeks... not abnormal..to me anyway. I welcome these conversations,  some may disagree... For us, our family, it is just another opportunity to speak truth of the gospel into our gents lives...

Now.. if this were several years ago I would be dwelling on the conversatitons of death.. allowing the anxiety of this consume me and capture my being...as I would be preparing to grieve, once more...

BUT today I celebrate the freedom in Christ not afraid of death by remembering this is not our home..

So this brings me to Scout and I's conversation today...

Scout:"Mama, we won't be here in 3 days"

me: "Oh, where are we going?"

Scout: "Me and You are going to die in 3 days.."

Me: "Well, where did this come from?"

Scout: "Jesus told me that."

Me: "Well buddy, we better make sure we are ready! I cannot wait to see Jesus face to face.."

Scout: " Yea, me too!"

.....it was yet, another gentle reminder that "we are en route to Heaven"  and we are to be preparing our hearts to see Jesus face to face...

 I close this up with a thankful heart and a renewed vision of this life being a simple vapor...my troubles are "mere troubles" and my hurts are "mere hurts" and He, the one we are waiting for, HE is faithful and good...may I travel strong and love well...

" But our citizenship is in heaven and I eagerly wait a Savior from there, Jesus Christ."

Phil. 3v20

Thankful,

Chele

Waiting...

Lord, may I be certain of seeing Your goodness come to pass in my current situation, whether in triumph & victory or in loss & turmoil, as I experience Your mighty supply of grace & power sustaining me. Because of Your Spirits life at work in me, I will wait for You, Lord, courageous and with a strong heart, I will wait on You.-- Psalm 27v13-14 (emphasis)

     Our journey has seemed, full. Far in distance. Dark. Curvy. Bumpy.Sunny.Steep.Confusing.Overwhelming.Lonely.Life filled.Joyful.Full of Grace. Yet always seemed in the state of constant waiting...

    

    I feel like I am in constant waiting on the Lord. And remembering that in the original text "to wait" means "to cling to"... As I process this...it is becoming a bit more clearer...we are always in a state of waiting. In big picture we are waiting to see our Father face to face. And as we wait for this, in the here and now, we are to know Him and to make His kingdom known. So as our journey continues we will be in a state of constant waiting... we will be clinging to Him because He is why we Live. Why we take our next breath,our next steps. 

    I am learning that I am in complete dependence on Him... Mr. Chambers has said it well " the more we trust God the less we trust ourselves." I am capable of failing. But He who promised His goodness is faithful..and trust worthy. 

    I will wait for the Lord, courageous and with a strong heart..for Your ways are greater than mine. And your thoughts surpass them all. I will wait in expectancy. For Your love,O Lord, is better than life.

Do I truly know my Rescuer?

A stormy spring morning. Good cup of French Press. John and writing.. O, how I have missed you.

As I have been studying Jesus' last days on earth, my heart has been overwhelmed. Here has been a glimpse of my journey this week leading up to the celebration of His resurrection.

John  14v1-14

Jesus had just sat with His disciples, comforting them as He is telling them that He is leaving and where He is going they cannot follow. I can imagine the troubled hearts. The questions that were flooding their souls...not understanding why they couldn't go with Him. As they sift through understanding, a few asked them to Jesus himself.

 ¹ “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. ² My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? ³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. ⁴ You know the way to the place where I am going.”

Wait up a minute before I move on- can you imagine to seriously being able to look Jesus in the eyes and ask Him the questions that ponder your hearts...face to face. I love the hope we are left with...one day.  One day soon my friends, we will experience Him face to face. Ha! Joy floods my heart when I think of this.

Jesus is now explaining to His disciples the Way to the Father

 ⁵ Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”  ⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. ⁷ If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

Jesus' response was very clear...as I study this I am asking myself the same thing I assume Thomas found himself asking " Do I really know Him?"

⁸ Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us. ⁹ Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?

Jesus' heart must continue to ache in frustration as He is responding to these men, His friends, who have been with him day after day. Night after night. Tasting and seeing the goodness of Him and they STILL DON'T GET IT!

¹⁰ Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. ¹¹ Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves.

I am imagining sitting there with Jesus as he continues to answer Philip.  I'm imagining the pain filling His heart as He is telling Philip " Believe ME! Believe my words or at the very least believe because you have lived life with me and have seen with your very eyes!" (emph. mine) 

These men have experienced healing, transformation. restoration, fulfilled prophesy..experiencing Jesus face to face...and they still are battling to believe that Jesus is who He says He is. We have experienced in a sense, much of what the disciples had experienced in their own hearts.

   

As I have been studying this particualr scripture and the question that Jesus asked these friends He is asking us. "Chele, don't you know Me?" The brokeness that I have experienced when deeply looking into the depths of my soul...

    Do I truly know the One that spared my life from bullets 12 years ago and brought new life in the midst of grief and suffering?  Do I know the One who has given me the gift of a husband who is the most loving and gracious human I have known and two lil gents that capture my heart each time I look into their eyes?  Do I know the One who had brought healing to our 2 y.o.'s little body? Do I know the One who has been our provider?  The One who has been my wonderful counselor? The One who has been my dear friend? The One who has been my peace and comfort? The One who has brought restoration to my marriage?  Do I know the One who has mended broken relationships? Who has answered my cries out to Him? Do I know the One who knows everything about me? The One who suffered in my name?

Do I truly know my Rescuer?

I have fallen on my knees as I remember the goodness of my Jesus. He has rescued us! One day, we will see Him face to face..until then I will seek to know my Rescuer in hope that the day our eyes meet, there will be little difference because I will truly KNOW the One, who is who He says He is.