I will build my church- The Father.

gospel.community.mission.


 "I will build my church"  has been the constant reminder to my heart since journeying this adventure of planting a church here in the heart of America.  Those words from The Father bring peace, the peace that is said to be uncomprehendable to the human mind. That Freddy & I with the boys walk in obedience to the calling on our family to plant Ekklesia here...that this is The Fathers church.  We are ordinary people living, ordinary lives with gospel intentionality.

Yes... The sweet reminder when tough times have come and passed and then come again...resting that we need to continue moving representing Jesus as we journey...and again remembering that The Father will build His church.

People will pass through & things may not come together as we have planned but our hope is in the Lord, the One who "holds everything together" and will  "organize His church"  (col.1)

Such a promise.

So as we approach the first public gathering of the church, We hold onto the  promises and trust in the One who is Great. Glorious.Gracious & very Good.





ekklesiaSTL.com

So today I will sit with him.

Continuing. continuing...things on my heart, in our life, learning, teaching just a bit of everything...

Today our oldest, Ryder got on his bus & went on his way to the new adventure of 1st grade! Days leading up to this have been tough..many many tears from all of our eyes...outbursts of anger became a part of our every day thing... My heart felt a pain that I have never felt before...my heart was soo very sad. Hearing this sweet, kind hearted young boy respond in hurtful & painful ways... Whatever it was going on inside of him brought out the worst in him... For several of days I wept and felt like I was failing him as a mama.. Maybe he needed more conversation of the gospel or maybe it's too much convesation? This chaos brought out the worst in me as well... As I was banging my fists on the floor & crying, yes much as a child, I cried out to God...Over the next few days my prayer had become God help! this is your child! You know him best...you know his heart better than I...teach me how to love this child deeper & wider in this moment... When he is not easy to like in this moment.
Ryder has always been easy to be liked...his sweet kind nature. A lover of people & life. So...where did my child go?
I have been reading a book written by Mother Teresa... She had written a portion on prayer...asking God to silence my heart... I finally sat long enough with My Father and prayed just that. "God silence my heart, my mind, my eyes, my ears so I may not miss being in your presence " I continued praying this throughout my days ...
In one of the  "moments" with Ryder I grabbed him gently sat him on my lap and hugged him so tightly...a flood gate opened from his eyes..that then released mine. We sat for a minute weeping together... I asked him "buddy whats going on in your heart?" it took him a moment to process & he shared with that "he was angry cause daddy was not going to be here."  Freddy (Ryder's daddy) has been in India for last 2 1/2 weeks and would be missing today..Ryder's first day of first grade and Ryder was hurting because of this... 3 weeks of this chaos in his heart responding in anger... Had I silenced my heart & responded with patience 3 weeks ago... I loved on Ryder & asked him to forgive me for being quick to respond in anger as well.. He quickly forgave me never thought of it again..Ryder needed to be heard...to be sat with & hugged on... He was hurting...I have learned much about myself through this... As a Christ follower & as a mama... I CANNOT do this life alone. I am so desperate for my Father... and so is my sweet son. Thank you Jesus for grace...it's all grace upon grace upon grace.

Just a Snap shot

Many people have asked us what a day in the life of "us" looks like...here is a snap shot of today in the life of Freddy & I...

Freddy, my husband, for those just starting to follow  ..well, he planned out this most wonderful date today! There is something about a day date that is just magical. He had the whole day planned out! A whole day..just the two of us! my heart is happy. We left our place early in the morning and we drove off in our volvo wagon, just the two of us...did I mention that already?!

My heart had been distracted leading up to this date just because we have such a busy busy weekend ahead of us and our boys were going to be with 4 different sitters in the next 3 days... ughhh I hate to have to mess up them like that! Ha! Like this could mess them up.. no it messes up my routine dang it! I have learned in the last 4 months or so that I am willing to give freely and live life without holding on tightly, as long as it is convenient... there is nothing convenient in serving...the Father is renewing my heart and mind constantly with this (side note)

So back to the most wonderful date...

As I was getting ready this morning I was re-gospeling my heart...that this is a gift and it could easily be missed today if my heart plays this tug-o-war with this whole holding onto our schedule so tightly...thank you Father for grace that pours so freely...

We pulled away and Freddy took me to this brew bar & espresso lab in STL called Sump. We open the door and creativity pours out of this place...the owner, Scott, a tatted, bald bearded man,who seems a bit out of place but then he doesn't, if that makes sense. He gives us a slight look up and he says hey. We walk up to this screen and checkout the limited menu of straight coffee.

Freddy, naturally, engages in conversation 15 minutes later we have learned much about each coffee & the origins & the aromas & the tastes it leaves on your pallet..Scott is a coffee connoisseur This man breathed the very essence of coffee...I became more passionate about coffee because he is passionate about it. Funny how that works.

Freddy and I sat right in front of the "lab" we watched Scott put together this perfect cup of coffee. So cool.  Freddy and I sat together for a couple hours,  taking in the entire experience with every sense. We talked about the journey thus far in Planting Ekklesia. How we are both experiencing freedom yet  in a season of loneliness. We are raw and desperate for the Father..Sitting across from the man I deeply love & having him re-gospel me and being able to do the same thing...So many times we look to others for a bit of life ..yet today the Holy Spirit reminded us that He is Life, nothing, no one can ever bring life to us.. (deep breath)...Our hearts rest in Truth of the gospel.

After this beautiful conversation we left Sump and then went to this place called Cafe Ventana.  Freddy has had meetings there lately and knew I would so enjoy this place and I totally did! Everything about it. From the fabulous food to the hard wood floors, the flowers, to the old brick and wall paper. This place screams "Chele" Totally recommend this place especially to the ladies and to the gentlemen who can enjoy themselves outside a sports bar.

Today was filled with new adventures. New people. Wonderful conversation. Smiles.Tears. Laughter & Rested hearts.

I love the lyrics "if grace was an ocean we're all sinking" I looked across the table many times today at my husband and continued to get a glimpse of God's grace and ferocious love for me. 

  Its all a gift.

A happy spring morning to you all! So.. My heart has been stirring with many things and this is to be one of them.. after talking with my sweet friend Paige... Here I am back..writing.. As my journey continues as a Christ follower, a wife of a church planter, a mama of 2 sweet lil gents... This is continuation of me documenting a journey of beautiful chaos, as I like to call it. So our journey continues...with much grace... More to follow.